I came across an interesting article by the always inspiring Pastor Bimbo Odukoya (RIP), titled: “What Manner of Husband Are You?” Please read and share your honest thoughts here or on our Facebook page. (Ladies, you can also participate by answering the same question, that is, “What manner of a husband do you have?”) Here’s wishing every woman “Kingdom Husbands.”
What Manner of Husband Are You? By Pastor Bimbo Odukoya
How can your wife describe you? Below are a few categories of husband:
(1). Autocratic Husband- He is a self-knowledge, self-involved, unbending, unyielding husband. Nobody can correct him, nobody can counsel him. To him, he knows everything. He is very arrogant and stubborn. He has no mentor. He does not fear, honour or respect anybody. He doesn’t want anybody to advise him and he can not be influenced by anybody especially his wife, who hardly knows his plan or what he may do next. He is a difficult man to live with.
(2). Corrosive Husband- He is abusive; hot tempered and a wife beater. He is not in charge of his temper. He is a no-joke, no-play, no-laughter and no-nonsense man. He shouts and barks at home. The house is a military camp; his room is a Defence headquarters, while he is the garrison commander, lion of the family and commander in chief of family forces.
(3). Solo Husband- He stays in separate room away from his wife. He is a “single” married man. He prefers sharing his secret with friends; the only time he talks to his wife is when he needs food and sex.
He is self-centered; his common words are “I”, “me”, “mine” and “myself”. He is full of self-glorification, self-justification and stinginess.
(4). Semi-Husbands- They are not real husbands, they are men under their trouser but lesser than that in their duties at home. They are real men in bed and on the dining table; but when it gets to paying school fees they are nothing. It is their wives who pay the house rent, electricity bills, buy food and provide generally for the family. It is not that he is not working; it’s just that he is a useless man that will not provide for his own family. While some are too lazy to work, others that have money spend their money outside to the detriment of peace in their homes. A semi-husband is a disgrace, Proverbs 24:27, I Tim 5:8.
(6). Supermarket Husbands- These are husbands that are unfaithful to their wives. They are everybody’s husband. They spend lavishly on their girl friends, woman friends, prostitutes and concubines outside; while giving little or nothing to their household.
To men like this, anything in skirt is good for a bed-mate. They pay huge amount of money on hotel bills. They are shameless to the extent that they visit brothels for prostitute or park their cars in the bush path to perform their ungodly act with immoral ladies. Some even go to the extent of impregnating their house-maids and sleeping with their wives’ younger sisters, Proverbs 7:1-27
(7). Executive Husbands- These are men that live their lives in an executive way. They do not allow their wives to have any close relationship with them. They operate their rooms as if it is the general manager’s office; no love, no romance and no intimacy.
If their wives want to enter their rooms, they have to knock and obtain permission before coming in. They do issue orders to their family members as if to the workers under them and inform their families about their plans as if addressing a press conference; where no journalist is allowed to ask any question.
Their wives cannot easily talk to them, in fact; they have to send their children to them before they can get anything from them.
One thing that is common to most of them is that most of them are business executives hence, they use their office experience to the maximum at home expecting everybody at home to follow suit. They have little or no respect for their wives, if their business is not going on fine, then the whole family is in trouble. Many of them always want their wives to be full-time house wives so that they can have full control over them.
(8). Traditional Husbands- They see their wives as properties. They believe women are third class citizens, useful only in the kitchen and bedroom. To them, a woman is just a cook, a tool of pleasure (sex) and baby making machine.
They give no attention to their wives who they see as somebody that is a little bit above their house-maid. They believe that their younger ones living with them are to be served by their wives, while they are expected not to do anything at home.
Most of them are still using the style of their grand-fathers for their marriages. They believe a woman must not enjoy sex; love must not be shown to them, they must be beaten if they misbehave, if she fails to give birth to a baby boy then she is a failure. If they give birth to children who behave poorly they belong to the wife, the one that behave excellently belong to the father.
(9). Baby Husbands- They are not under-aged men physically, but they are infant mentally. They know how to build a house but not how to make a home.
If you want to know baby husbands look for the following:
• He keeps malice with his wife
• He rejects food because he is angry
• He beats his wife
• He reports his wife to friends and family members
• He keeps a separate room from his wife.
• He embarrasses his wife publicly
• He calls his wife goat, animal, fool, etc.
• He loves his mother more than his wife
• May refuse to give house-keeping allowance because of a little misunderstanding
• Can never be influenced by his wife
• He is a contentious husband, he nags.
• Will never pray with his wife
• Always find it difficult to say “I am sorry”.
• Will never help his wife with the baby.
• He threatens his wives with polygamy or divorce
• He criticizes, condemns and compares his wife with other women
• He does not love his wife, if he does; he will never say it, or demonstrate it.
• He leaves the house without anybody knowing where he has gone to.
• He gives no room for romance and intimacy. All he wants is sex.
• Gives no room for foreplay before sex. He is just like a carpenter who has no emotion for the nail.
• He retaliates instead of rewarding
• Never does anything to improve his marriage. He will never read marriage books, attend seminar or go for counseling.
(10). Kingdom Husbands– They are extra-ordinary husbands; they are what God want them to be as husband. They know that their God is to be feared and worshipped, their wives are to be loved and their children are to be catered for. They are “real men”, men indeed; they are the SUNSHINE in the life of their wives and children.
– They are man of integrity: – They mean what they say; and say what they mean
– They do pray with and for their wives.
– They are faithful, loving and caring.
– They cherish and nourish their wives.
– They listen to the suggestion of their wives.
– They are good communicator.
– Apologize easily, forgive quickly.
– They lead their homes with wisdom
– They never retaliate, they rather reconcile.
– They do speak the truth in love.
– They provide for their family (1 Tim. 5:8)
– They stay in the same room with their wives.
– They “leave” their parent and leave to their wives.
– Their wives know how much they are earning.
– They are actively involved in child bearing, rearing, discipline and parenting.
– They have ultimate respect for their wives.
– They do support their wives in the kitchen.
– They are close to their wives, full of honour and they do play with their wives.
– They are skillful in the bedroom; meeting their wives bedroom need.
Kingdom husbands are not common but God can make you one of them, turning your home to a place to be.
Kingdom Husbands – Traits of an Uncommon Hubby
Kingdom husbands are common men with uncommon sense. Are you a great husband? Do you want to be one? Do you want to be a husband your wife will adore, honor and hero-worship? Then all you just need to do is to develop the following traits of uncommon husbands:
God Fearing: The first trait of a great husband is the fear of the Lord. He fears the Lord enough to obey His words. He fears the God enough to care and provide for his wife. No husband can be a wonderful husband expects he is God fearing man.
2. Godly Character: A great husband is of a man with godly character. He is meek, gentle, caring, loving, forgiving, supportive, wise and cautious. He is not stingy but honest. He does not attend night clubs, smoke or practice adultery.
3. Love: He loves his wife with all his heart and is not ashamed to let anybody know. He expresses love to his wife at any given opportunity.
4. Respects and Honors: When you see a man that embarrasses his wife in the public, he is a total failure as a man of valor. A great husband respects and honors his wife and gives all glory to God.
5. Good Communication: A woman loves it when her husband is talking and listening passionately to her. A good husband is open to his wife. He speaks the truth is love and is always positive in his reactions to his wife.
6. Great Leader: He is never a boss but is a tender lover. He knows how to make people follow him without forcing them. He has vision, which he shares with his family. He influences the family and offers them good examples.
7. Diligent: A great husband is a worker; he is not lazy. He puts his hands to work and makes bread available to his family.
8. Romantic: He satisfies his Wife’s Bedroom Desires. A great husband is romantic. He knows how to make his wife enjoy him. He is tender, patient and careful with the wife in the bedroom. He knows that foreplay is a must if a woman must enjoy sex. Hence, he never rushes his wife but brings her up before any sexual act.
9. He gives His Wife Peace: The wife of a great husband is always sad to see him travel because he is a man of peace with no space for fighting, bitter arguments, abuse, curse, shouting, malice, bitterness, resentment, bickering and hatred. A great husband has no time for all these. He is a source of joy to his darling wife.
10. He is Committed to Marriage: He never threatens his wife with beating, separation or divorce but is ready to give his marriage anything it takes to make it work. His wife is number one in his life after God. His wife is his thinking partner, friend, prayer partner, bed mate, and confidant!
This is not meant to abuse anybody, but for you to check yourself and try to be a better husband and father, may God help you in Jesus name, Amen.
~Pastor Bimbo Odukoya~
- Do It When You’re Old (howtodategod.wordpress.com)
- What is Marriage? (johnathanhines.wordpress.com)
- Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too (thechristianpundit.org)
- A Husband Describes How His Wife’s Submission Makes Him a Better Man! (peacefulwife.com)