Tag Archive | God

My Prayers For You in the New Year!

today“Begin today to BE who you’ve always wanted to BECOME, for tomorrow, you would wish you had started yesterday and then again, tomorrow may well be too late.” ~Anonymous~

My prayers for you this year: Make this be the year you take personal RESPONSIBILITY for BOTH your awesomeness and your crap! (What is your ability to RESPOND to whatever life throws at you?) If it’s showing up in your physical universe, you created it, (consciously or Unconsciously). You are a CO-CREATOR with God, OWN it! Make 2014 your year of boldness and courage.

Become more RESILIENT, you’re made of stronger and sterner stuff! Stop blaming, justifying, excusing the sh*t in your life by pointing fingers outwards. Everything is possible, period! Enter the co-creative zone and ask yourself: How can it be done? Who and what are the resources I have? Reach out and form synergies with others. Stop judging, and start accepting and empathizing. It’s life, we’re all basically going through the same challenges, they just show up in different colours.

You are a reflection of everyone around you, learn from others. Embrace your humanity and celebrate your divinity. It’s all YOU! Look inwards, you have the power to reset your internal thermostat in all areas of your life: energetic, social, physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, financial…

Stop playing the compare and contrast game. That is the basis of ALL unhappiness. Your name is not ‘EVERYBODY’. You are a unique BEING, with unique values and beliefs. You are a beloved child of a loving God, live it! You have the power of choice, exercise it and be accountable for your actions and (in)actions!

Nobody’s doing anything to you that you did not first do to yourself. Build a bullet-proof, rock solid relationship with your CREATOR. Get out of the prison of the generation that accepts: “My PASTOR SAID”, “MY ENEMIES ARE AFTER ME”, “I HAVE SUFFERED”, “THE LEADERS ARE TO BLAME”,…Become more involved in your own life.
Pleeease, a KING died for YOU! Not a hair on your head can be touched without his express permission. Why choose to be part of a generation that craves entitlement without responsibility? Take ownership of your life, it’s yours after all!

Stop perpetuating the myth of old, healed pains of the past as if they were still real. Tell yourself EMPOWERING stories and move on. Yes, decide to move on. Let TIME do what it does best: heal. Ask yourself who benefits when you refuse to own your magnificence? Who does it serve when you choose to stay stuck and refuse to be yourself? What are you permitting and settling for as ‘truth’ in your life? What are you accepting into your life? You get to DECIDE! Be kind and gentle, yet have healthy boundaries. Claim Wisdom as a best friend. Surrender to her, she’ll guide you well. Embrace the gift of eloquent SILENCE. It is the zone of beautiful creativity and growth!

Know yourself! You are always changing and growing and evolving. Re-introduce your new self to you and others around. Fall deeply, passionately, totally in love with you! Until you really know, accept, forgive and love yourself, no one else can! Understand and embrace your passions, pains, weaknesses and strength. The mystery to love is that it is complete in itself. It exists, even without an object of affection. Know this kind of love in your lifetime, it’s already yours.

We are drawn to others not only because of shared passions but also because of our unhealed pains. If you are in someone’s life or vice versa, then there’s a unique purpose and reason why. No one’s role is to complete you, stop setting people up for a fall! We are all here to heal, create, share, love and bear witness to one another, of HIS amazing grace. Know when to hold on and fight for love, also know when to let go and set love free. Celebrate finding love and celebrate also getting your heart-broken. For a heart that loves is a heart that is full and a heart that is broken, is a heart that is open, ready, willing and strong enough to love fully and completely.

Move over from the ‘woe me’ quadrant, into the ‘WOW ME’ zone. Fill your cup so that you can better serve others around you. It is SELFISH to keep playing the role of ‘VICTIM’ when you know deep down that you’ve been made VICTORIOUS by God’s abiding grace. And make every moment of your time in life, (even on social media), well worth it. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. Choose LIFE, and live passionately, purposefully and powerfully. DECIDE and Choose to have a wonderful New Year!

Join the conversation on our Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

Take the next steps. Interested in booking a 30-minutes complimentary Strategy Session? Need more information on WWN’s individual/group/organizational training, coaching, speaking engagements, or leadership certification programs, contact us via email: info@wholewomannetwork.com or call +1.905.709.5866

Note: For Strategy Sessions, we’re now fully booked for the Months of January and February, the next available date for appointments is from March 10th, 2014.

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The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women (and men), regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc

 

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As 2014 approaches, here are 14 habits you may consider letting go of …

HabitSome habits you may have to say goodbye to as the new year approaches:

1. A lack of curiosity about life, people, things, places, events. You have to be interested to be interesting. You have a pulse, use it!

2. Complaining, blaming and justifying everything and everyone. Begin to take personal responsibility and focus on the results you want. Stop believing the fallacy that it can not be done and instead ask yourself: ‘how do I get it done?’

3. Lack of F.U.N and laughter in your life. You have challenges, we get it. So does everyone else on the planet. Why not have fun along the way as you try to figure out this maze called life? Who benefits from a colourless, drab, and sad life?

4. Lack of adequate sleep and rest. You can attempt to play games with Mother nature but expect to lose, period!

bad habits5. Eating to feed your pain rather than to nourish your body. There’s a huge difference between the two.

6. Not asking for help and trying to do and control everything yourself. You are not indispensable. Stop playing God. You are definitely not God, (come to think of it, even God has angels as helpers) and he uses mere mortals in his co-creative job.

7. INGRATITUDE! Be thankful for everything and everyone. Nothing is too insignificant. It all matters.

8. Living on auto-pilot without pause for personal silence and reflection. Your life-train will crash if it does not stop and undergo periodic maintenance!

Replace9. Saying yes to just about everything out of fear, insecurity or a need to control others. Say yes or no from a place of power.

10. Lying to yourself. This is the worst lie you can ever tell. Sometimes, you may have to lie to others out of love or protection. Do NOT EVER LIE TO YOURSELF because you still get to live with yourself. Stop such needless torture!

11. Stop criticizing your body. Love it, accept it, celebrate it. It’s all you’ve got. To get a brand new one, you basically have to die, okay? For now, this present body is your only home, so treat it with respect, clean it up and enjoy it. (Unless, of  course, you’ve mastered the art of magically transporting yourself to a different body! 🙂 )

jim Rohn12. STOP Texting and Driving, at the same time. Whatever it is, it can wait! Nothing is that urgent. Better be late than to be ‘the late’. Not yet convinced? Spend a full day watching all the YouTube ads by MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).

13. Are you still telling ‘woe me’ stories over and over again? Everyone is dealing with their own crap, don’t add to the crap mountain! 2014 is a good time to stop this habit.

past callsStill take time to feel all your feelings and vent when warranted, but do not become a permanent venting machine. That sh*t gets old really fast. Learn from your past, even take short visits there. However, do not take up permanent residency in the past! Tell ‘WOW ME’ stories, they’re more fun for you and everyone around you. Trust me!

14. Stop sitting on the fence. You will hurt yourself. There’s no life in the ‘grey zone’, make a choice, any choice and course-correct as you go along.

Life is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be lived. Go out and live, now! 2014 awaits.

UnlearnLet go of the unhealthy habits, (especially if they no longer add value or serve your purpose), and replace them with healthier and cooler ones.

Learning is a continuos journey, take it one small step at a time. If you can learn, you can always unlearn. It’s a choice. DECIDE now.

Join the conversation on our Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

Take the next steps. Interested in booking a 30-minutes complimentary Strategy Session? Need more information on WWN’s individual/group/organizational training, coaching, speaking engagements, or leadership certification programs, contact us via email: info@wholewomannetwork.com or call +1.905.709.5866

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The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women (and men), regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc

9 Simple Steps to Take Control of Your Life and Create the Life of Your Dreams!

Habit“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” ~ William Morris~

A while ago, I attended the laptop Millionaire summit hosted by Mark Anastasi, New York Times Bestselling Author of ‘The Laptop Millionaire.’

It was an exciting, insightful and empowering experience as Mark and his team shared valuable information on using social media marketing campaigns, effectively, to grow your business prospect lists and client base!

He also shared a 9-point list of simple yet powerful strategies/tips to take control of life and create the life of your dreams. Here’s the list below:

1. Have clarity on what you want and focus on exactly what you want, only what you want. Zone out and ignore everything else!

2. Take personal responsibility for your present chaos, drama or stuck state.

3. Know your expected and projected outcomes. Reverse engineer your steps.

4. Change your focus if what you’re currently doing is not getting you the results you desire. Intended

5. Brainstorm and come up with 100 solutions. Have many ideas and different options.

6. Become more resourceful; unlock your own inner creativity. Write down 20 things you are grateful for and 20 things you love about yourself.

7. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Ask for guidance, seek a coach and/or mentor whom you trust.

8. If you’re not where you want to be, if you don’t look, hear, see, and feel your vision for yourself, know that it’s probably time to change your peer group.

9. Take massive, intelligent and disciplined action steps. Stretch yourself. Become comfortable with discomfort.

And most importantly, take good care of your health! Accept, love and celebrate your body, it is your vessel of life.

Have an awesome weekend, everyone and remember to take ACTION steps that are aligned with your core values.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am more concerned about taking care of the present moment. God has given me no control over the moment following.” ~Mahatma Ghandi~

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The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Private Wealth Consultant & Leadership Coach & Trainer at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today I will not bow.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women (and men), regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific, Behavioural and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! She shares her daily reflective posts on: www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork. And to relax, she shares her love for Floetry (the written-spoken-sung word), on her Poetry Blog. Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc

DAY 30: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

words of affirmation joel osteen quotes whole woman network

WWN Reflection DAY 30: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

This blog post is the second part of a 2-part series on the key highlights from ‘A Night of Hope’, an inspirational  live event of worship and celebration, by bestselling author and transformational pastor, Joel Osteen.

(Refer to the first part by clicking this link: Day 29: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!)

Some of the highlights of Joel and Victoria’s messages of hope, transformation and purpose (PART II):

1. Our first mission field is to our families. Everything flows from the family. Value your relationships. Agree to disagree respectfully. Everyone has different backgrounds, education, upbringing, belief system etc., so learn to accept and respect one another. Pick your fights. Know what’s worth fighting about and what to let go. Sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut and sow that act of compromise as a seed.

2. In life you’ve got to stand up and fight for what you want. Live a life of FAITH in action and focus on touching one life at a time. Everyday is an opportunity to do something different and better!

self talk3. In pursuing your purpose in life, it is not how you start, it is how you finish. Take a step and tell yourself empowering stories. If the inner conversation is not taking you towards your goals, have a different conversation with yourself and make it louder!

4. Are you going to go forward or will you stay stuck staring behind through your rear view mirror? Let go and forgive all of yesterday’s pain. God made you to be free of excess baggage. His promise is to always make your burden lighter.

5. In life there are two types of bags that you get to carry around. It is either one or the other. The first is the special positive bag filled with joy, thanksgiving and service etc.

While the other is the negative bag. Are you dragging around all the negative baggage from your past with you in the present? Which bag do you carry: Disappointment bag, Hurt bag, Regret bag, Anger bag, Bitter bag? Isn’t time to let go and let GOD?

someone who adds little6. Manage your happiness by managing your expectation, your sense of happiness is a choice. You have control over the type of relationships you wish to co-create.

Only what you allow happens. Love yourself enough to honour God in you by giving and asking for the best. treat yourself with respect.

7. Speak words of faith and affirmation to any difficult situation and then take action in line with your words.

“The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins~

Disclaimer: The highlights above are based on personal notes and understanding of Joel and Victoria Osteen’s messages. No intentional omission or error is intended. I hope something on this list resonates and plants an active seed in your life.

Have an abundantly blessed day and an awesome life ahead!

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

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Blogger Bio:

FB PIC High RezThe preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”  and “Today, I Will Not Bow”.  A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’,  [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?” 

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DAY 24: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

time and valueQuestions of the day: Do you have goals set out for this week? Do you have an overall vision for what you hope to accomplish? Have you mapped out a plan for your activities, action steps and ?

Do you have an accountability system/coach to keep you on track? What would you do differently if this week were your last days to change, to serve, to grow, to love and to live? Your focus will dictate your behaviour and your outcomes.

First, you must discover and understand your WHY. Second, you must know your WHAT. And third, you must determine your HOW. Every other thing may be broken down into simple details and little action steps.

be realBegin with your WHY. It must be big enough to create highly charged neuro-transmitters in your being. It creates a beautiful tension within you. It makes you very uncomfortable and also super excited! You cannot NOT fulfil your WHY.

Settling for a life of mediocrity suffocates and kills your WHY. In living fully, passionately, powerfully and purposefully, you WILL stumble upon and discover your WHY. It keeps you awake, it fills your dreams, it is in your every waking moment, it is your last dying thought.

It energizes your body. It holds your soul captive. It gives your spirit freedom. Your WHY will direct your focus and use of time. Your WHY is the sole reason you exist!” ~Excerpt from the upcoming book: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”~

focusDay 24: WWN Reflection-November 24, 2013.

Today’s focus is on FOCUS! The ability to stay focused is probably high up on the list of the top 3 reasons why people with great talents, wonderful ideas and burning passion, either succeed or fail miserably at their dreams.

A lack of clear, consistent and laser-like focus is a recipe for failure and stagnation! To focus on a goal means that you’ve dedicated all your resources to it. The power of focus is that it fires up your spirit of commitment.

What do you wish to focus on this week? In the next 7 days, what are the 3 key goals you desire to achieve? These goals should direct and determine your level of focus. We are constantly bombarded with millions of information on a daily basis. And yet, the human brain has the capacity to handle only a minute fraction of this data at any given time.

In this overwhelming maze of ‘data drowning’ and information overload, how then can we avoid the many distractions around us and still maintain our sense of focus? Your purpose will determine where your focus goes. The more aligned you are with your values, the more congruent you will be in your use of time. If you are unclear about your purpose, you may find this dissonance reflected in your use (or misuse) of time.

is your hundred per centSome simple ideas to enhance your Focus.

This week, here are 4 key things that you must manage effectively to enhance your habit of focus:  Time, Money, Energy and Relationships/Networks. These four resources will direct your sense of focus.

Time: 

In a 24-hour window, there are many dimensions of Time but most people are conditioned by society to focus on just one: 9 am to 5 pm. Based on the consistent feedback of successful entrepreneurs and professionals over the years, the following time slots should also be paid attention to: a) Between 6 am and 9 am, AND b) Between 6 pm and 9 pm. These are the periods when you can leverage your time, ideas, network, skills, passions…and transform them into wealth. Take the time today to reflect on the following terms: i. ZIGA: Zero-Income Generating Activities; ii. VICA: Value/Income Generating Activities.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, period! You cannot save, bank or invest time. All you can do is spend it! Now, determine how much of that time you will allocate to God, Self, Family, Work/Business, Hobbies/Passions, Community.

Use a time management system to plan and schedule all your activities! EVERYTHING goes on your calender. It serves as a life-map of your whole day/week. It is important that you make the time to track your time or you’ll be controlled by time and events.

timeRecognize the patterns in your use of time. Are you always late for meetings and project deadlines? Do you procrastinate often? Are you a time hoarder or a time waster? Do you leverage your time effectively by planning, delegating, measuring  and re-assessing?

What are your time thieves? Examples: what is the the amount of time spent on social media, unplanned and unproductive ‘Starbucks conversations’? Are you often trapped in random meetings/events that seem to last forever, without any clear cut agenda? Can you identify your non-income generating activities? Where are your time gaps?

Do you pay attention to activities that drain your energy? And do you have clarity on your high-value activities (that is, wealth, joy, and value-generating activities)?

The more you study, reflect and understand the patterns you are running, the better you can lead yourself and consequently,  manage your time more effectively.

Note: Sometimes, you may need the services and guidance of a qualified coach in order to identify and pattern-interrupt these embedded unconscious programs. Newer and more effective strategies may also be installed in your neurology to replace the old, unproductive ones.

Money

barak

Money, like anything else is simple energy. The less you focus on money as a tangible product and more as a symbol of exchange, the better your mastery of it deepens.

Track your spending, earning and saving habits. Separate your personal expense from your business expense. Create online files or physical folders to keep track of your money.

There are many money management software that will do the job. Quicken is an example. Your net-worth flows directly from your self-worth! In terms of money goals, have a clear focus in the next 7 days.

Are you focused on debt elimination, wealth creation, legacy creation, savings, investing, or a combination? Choose one area and develop a plan for it. Your choice of focus automatically drives your behaviour.

For example, if your focus is on debt elimination, here are some steps that may apply:

i. Financial assessment of your current  personal/business debt level.

ii. Names of all the lenders, amount owed, interest rate, term of loans.

iii. Are the payments current or in default?

iv. For payments that are in default, call all the lenders and work out a feasible arrangement to get the loan back on track.

v. Consider getting a part-time job, asking for help from friends/relatives and/or starting a business to augment/accelerate the loan payment.

vi. Seek professional financial advice and solutions from a certified money coach, financial advisor or credit counsellor etc.

vii. Take ACTION in at least one area of your life and the positive effect will spill over into the main area of concern. For example, if your biggest pain point is debt and you find yourself stuck in finding solutions to it, simply shift your focus to another area that needs action such as exercising daily and eating healthy to promote overall physical well being or you may choose to simply de-clutter your home and office.

You may also take action by improve the quality of your closest relationships by deepening the levels of intimacy, trust and communication. These seemingly non-related action steps can actually trigger solutions for the primary debt elimination challenge.

The idea is based on the fact that we are a holographic, interrelated entity and taking positive action in any area of our sphere of life, creates a corresponding effect on other areas. This is because all learning, all behaviour and change happens at the unconscious level and manifests consciously.

The unconscious mind communicates with and understands symbols. When we constantly focus on and build new, healthier habits, we tend to deepen the rapport with our unconscious mind and it begins to trust, respect and offer up the solutions needed.

energyEnergy

Everything and everyone is energy. We are all exchanging energy with the world all around us. However, we choose how we share energy with others. And, we are also responsible for accepting/engaging/using/channelling the energy directed at us.

The moment you wake up in the morning, you are creating your own energetic field. You have the power to co-create the reality you wish to experience. Whatever you choose to focus on will become manifested in your world. The key is to strictly focus on only what you want.

Relationships/Networks

Relationships are fundamental to your experience of and quality of life. How you engage with individuals, groups, communities and your inner/outer world plays a role in whom and how you use your power of focus. Clarity of purpose means that you have a deep awareness of the opportunities and people around you. We constantly exchange energy with others and every interaction is an exchange of values.

law of attractionWhere is your focus when building up relationships within your family and at work? Are you able to separate people from their behaviour? Are you able to set clear boundaries in your interactions? Are you caught up in the ‘drama’ or are you choosing to focus on the learning and insights inherent in all relationships?

In your business,the ability to focus on providing solutions to the needs and challenges of your clients will make you successful.

Here are simple things you may do to build stronger relationships:

someone who adds littlei. Be a leader and LEAD! No excuses, period! Decide on what you really want: are you building a solid client network based on value and service and is thus characterized by repeat sales, loyal customers, organic referrals and sustainability OR are you simply focused on conducting one-off sales, eliciting both unhappy buyers and negative reviews.

ii. It’s all about the other person, and rarely about you! Listen! Listen! Listen!

iii. Invest your time and focus on and get to know people, connect with your team; call them, introduce yourself, learn about them, engage them.

iv. Understand their ‘why’. What are their goals, passion…Why are they on your team? Why are they your clients? What are their expectations from you?

v. Be upfront and open. Relationships thrive, based on integrity, trust, respect and excellent communication.

vi.Acknowledge their successes, no matter how small. Offer solutions, ideas, options…to their challenges.

vii. Recognize that some customers are not right for your service offering and that some people should not even be on your team and are misaligned with your culture and values,….so be a leader and fire them!  Celebrate their milestones…..send them birthday cards, congratulatory events on key milestones and achievements.

Focus! Focus! Focus! Practice saying ‘NO’ to the things that detract/distract from your purpose and say ‘YES’ to your dreams. Choose to set your eyes, heart and action on the outcome.  I hope you have a lot of fun this coming week as you re-focus your life and business.

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Blogger Bio:

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming book: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc.

DAY 22: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

change life“Nobody’s role is to give your life meaning or make you happy. You give it to yourself based on your relationship with your creator. True joy comes from within. Joy is your God-given right, irrespective of your situation or relationship status. You condemn yourself to the left axis of hurts, doubts, fears, sadness…when you look outside for joy. We make choices about how we feel about ourselves (good or bad), and are drawn to people who make us feel that way. Most relationships begin to crumble once we begin to feel differently about ourselves and the other party still sees us the same way.” ~Connie Podesta~

WWN Reflection DAY 22: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Today’s focus is on RELATIONSHIP. As you enjoy your weekend, here are some nuggets to reflect upon. (Excerpt from my upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.’)

Follow your heart1. Renew your relationship everyday. It has its own distinct energy, separate from the individual energy of the people in it. Be open to learning new things about each other. What you THINK you know can get in the way of what you NEED to know. Let go of the attachment to being ‘right’ all the time in your relationship. It gets in the way of the joy and beauty unfolding ‘right now’ with your partner. Avoid keeping scores. It kills off the growth buds of your relationships.

You are in each other’s lives for a purpose; to love, to heal your pains and wounds, to create light and joy, share, to grow, to bear witness of God’s glory in you, to transform and to give and receive energy.

You come into the relationship already whole and complete. To think otherwise and shift the responsibility of making you feel ‘complete’ to your spouse, is setting them up on a pedestal from which they’ll surely fall off at some point. We enter into relationships with our strengths and also frailties, we are humans first and not ‘knights’ in shinning armours or ‘damsels’ in distress. Both parties bear the equal responsibilities of ‘saving’ each other. 1+1 =1! All parties must play at 100% or not at all.

Be responsible and have a deep sense of awareness of how you choose to exchange energy with each other. The moment we are disconnected from God, the eternal source, we are disconnected from ourselves and consequently, we begin to manifest that disconnect in our relationships.

“We tend to marry our unconscious mind, and then project unto it all of our unresolved stuff.” ~Carl Jung~

The moment the real purpose of the relationship is lost, it dies or disfigures itself into a source of pain, resentment and a hellish existence that drains both parties. Take the time to refocus the purpose of your relationships. Constantly build up a bank of positive emotions and beautiful memories. Your currencies are loving smiles, touches, kind words, mutual hobbies, fun dates, shared jokes, trips/unique experiences, delightful surprises, loyalty, commitment, intimacy, patience, presence, gifts, respect, generosity, forgiveness and most of all kindness.

Deposit daily and consistently into your ‘relationship banks’. Once in a while make huge lump deposits. When the storms arise, your deposits would yield interests of loving memories and these will be the back-up resources that will sustain you. A relationship without an active reserve goes bankrupt at the slightest wind or wisp of trouble.

Sometimes we may have to unlearn the old to learn the new. Keep your mind open, you just never know. People evolve and grow, decide to grow together. Most relationships die because one partner grows and the other stays the same or both grow in different directions. The more we have certain deep values in common, the more our relationship flourishes. We learn new things everyday, your prayer should be that you each become a better version of yourself tomorrow than you were today and that you share these persons you’re both becoming with each other.

Don’t stay stunted! Do better, choose to constantly GROW your relationship in the right direction.  “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” ~Frank Zappa ~

Priority2. A relationship is an equal  partnership. Both parties are responsible for its growth and success. It is a team. It is the most sacred of teams. When working in a team, don’t ever let your ego get in the way of the work to be done or the joys to be enjoyed. Always begin with the outcome in mind. Focus on WHAT you want to achieve and not WHO does what. Make each other your biggest priority. In the words of Maya Angelo: “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

When someone is your priority you expend most of your resources(time, money, energy), on them. It is not just what you say, it is how you say it. It is not just what you do, it is the intention and attitude with which you do it.

So many wonderful and once loving relationships failed because people are more concerned with BEING right than DOING right. Get rid of your attachment to being right. Focus on the type of relationships you desire to create: Loving, healthy and happy! Know when to LET IT GO or SWALLOW; swallow your pride, swallow the back-biting, swallow keeping score of your mutual weaknesses, swallow your anger. Relationships take work and it is important that you focus on getting the work done each day. And make sure you have fun in the process. If not, what’s the point?

Rainbow3.  The quality of your relationships should be based on the love you give, the value you add, the gifts and talents you share, your ability to transform each other’s lives and the positive changes you ignite. Each party acts as a catalyst to the other. You are reflections of the other. Your closest and most intimate relationships offer you a tremendous opportunity to grow and transform. “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~Carl G. Jung~

You are first and foremost, in a relationship with yourself. You go into a relationship with your own ‘bag’ of belief system, values, upbringing etc . Each person is responsible for their own bag of ‘stuff’. Be courageous, own and confront your own stuff, so that you free up your heart to fully love the one you’re with. Your stuff is shaped by your past, culture, family, values, environment, beliefs, education, etc.

Everyone has the same capacity for love. It just manifests differently. Do not play the compare and contrast game. The greatest gift of every relationship is unconditional love. Be grateful for what and who you have and not anxious for what you do NOT have. Be thankful and happy for what others have. Their path is different from yours. Love and focus on the one you’re with. Focus on giving and not on getting. The beauty with love is that we are transformed when we give and receive it completely and unreservedly.

Accept and forgive each other, unconditionally. Know the difference between compromising based on love and sacrificing based on fear. Grow in your relationship. Grow with your relationship. God’s grace is sufficient for us all, however it is a choice whether we tap into that grace or not.

Relationship

4. One of the dangers of thinking the grass is greener on the other side is that you may get to the other side and find out you’re allergic to that type of grass and you break out in terrible reactions. Be content with who/what/where you are. You have the power to co-create your relationships.

Your life is not an accident. The source of eternal joy dwells within you because you were created in God’s image. There’s a majesty within you. Why then do you seek completion from external possessions, titles, judgements? Avoid comparing and contrasting with others. Focus on building your home.

Do not surrender the power you have to valueless and meaningless things. Do not be a slave to the ego. The more congruent and content you are with who you are, the more empowered and loving your relationship will become.

5. Most relationships would flourish if we treated loved ones with the same kindness, courtesy and respect that we accord bosses, strangers and colleagues. Familiarity should not be an excuse for veiled contempt rather it should breed consideration and empathy.

Stop taking people for granted. Even loved ones deserve your sincere ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I’m sorry’….Simply saying ‘I love you’ is not enough, you also have to mean it, think it and act it out. This is because LOVE is a very fragile seed, and it needs the right atmosphere in order for the fruits to flourish. If not, it gradually wilts away and dies!

bricks6. If the FEAR of losing your relationship is what is holding you back from pursuing your passions, dreams and purpose, you’ll have a LONG wait because, like a shadow, the fear never goes away.

Arise into the light and tame the cobra of fear. ACT in spite of your fears. Fight for the relationship and create the reality you want. If you are afraid of being yourself in a relationship because of a need to ‘preserve and keep’ that relationship, chances are, the relationship is already broken and you’re simply wasting your life away, chasing and gathering the scattered, broken pieces while pretending to be someone else. That’s just exhausting!

If you find yourself more afraid of rocking the boat and more focused on preserving ‘peace’, know that you are no longer being yourself in that relationship, and that relationship boat’s probably already capsized! Allow relationships to evolve naturally.

Be authentic, be YOU. It is the pretence that destroys. You are already dead the moment you try to become something or someone you are not. A ghost cannot exist in a relationship. Be alive, choose to trust that you are enough. It is better to let go of a phantom relationship, than to lose your essence, soul and spirit. God made you for a purpose and you cannot fulfil it by being someone else!

7. Focus on exactly what you want in your relationship and not on the ‘problems’ ; what you do not want! What if your problem is not YOUR problem? What if your problem is simply just A problem? Quit taking things so personal, begin to let PROBLEMS/PAINS go when they’ve served their purpose in your relationship. Have clarity on and communicate your values, boundaries and deal breakers.

A problem or pain exists in your relationship to draw your attention to something that needs to be resolved, a skill that needs to be learnt, a reason to pause and reflect on your choices…and a chance to grow and transform. It is not in the ‘highs’ of life that your relationship is strengthened. Rather it’s in the ‘lows’; those periods when situations challenge us, when we are pushed beyond our limits, when loved ones and people we trust hurt/disappoint/betray us.

all we needAnd yet, these are your finest moments to BE who you really are! Begin to see ‘PROBLEMS or PAIN POINTS’ as gifts to your relationships! God will NEVER give you more than you can bear. You are GREATER than any challenge, obstacle or pain. BE and B.E.A.M: Be Everything And More!

Remember this: You  are blessed beyond your wildest imaginations. You are worthy of a loving, trusting, passionate relationship. You are deserving. You were created to love and be loved, unconditionally. In love were you created, with love were you moulded, through love were you redeemed. God is love and you are made in his own image and likeness. You are love. Do not ever sell yourself short! May love always find you willing, open and ready. Have a love-filled life!

Some great relationship books and resources:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

The Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Join the conversation on our Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

FB PIC High RezThe preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”  and “Today, I Will Not Bow”.  A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’,  [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?” 

DAY 21: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

courage“The old way of thinking is as if you were the lowly servant of a king or the daughter of a slave. This old way is built on a fallacy and pre-supposes that you are broken and incomplete. It’s a new dawn. The new message is that you are and have always been the daughter of a KING.

You are whole and complete. It is based on an eternal TRUTH! This is the season to return to wholeness. Step into your magnificence. Greatness resides in YOU! The world is waiting for you.” ~Excerpt from the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership’~

WWN Reflection DAY 21: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

The focus today is on telling yourself EMPOWERING stories!
All change, all learning, all growth is mainly done on an unconscious level. Be mindful, therefore, of the stories you feed your unconscious mind and the movies you play in your head. Tell yourself wonderful stories. Tell stories with a sole purpose of getting something positive out of it. The stories start in your head. The most important conversations are the ones you have with yourself.

Explore the learning, growth and idea in each story and apply the principles to make your life better. Events are events, your interpretation of the event is your story. Tell stories that move you in the direction of your purpose. The story is merely a story, how you tell it is more important!

your storiesTell stories about yourself and others that empower and not dis-empower you! Get out of the victim mode! Your past is your past! Acknowledge the story, acknowledge the pain, re-frame it and simply DECIDE to let it go. Tell stories about yourself and others that have solutions. Tell stories that bring you to light. Come out of the darkness. We co-create our own hell or heaven. Everything depends on our perspective. It is always a choice.

You live out the stories in your head! Be gentle with yourself and others. We are all reflections of one another, we are here to learn from one another, period. Tell stories that will add to the process of your continuous growth. No one is better than the other.Worst enemy

Everyone is equal. Life is a game and we are all still figuring it out. No one has all the answers, the key is to keep asking questions and re-framing your stories. As long as you are alive, your stories are never done, they are constantly evolving. When we’re done, we’re basically dead!

Some people are here to  teach us  life lessons, so that we may also teach and pass it on to others. So every painful or difficult experience happens to make us grow and become a beacon of hope to others. Stop looking back, stop looking down, you are not going that way! Look up and look forward, the future awaits and you get to write the script and direct the movie of your life story!

FOCUS on what you want and say it exactly how you want it. For every single thing that has form was once formless, i.e. a mere thought. Guard your thoughts and your words, for soon they manifest into reality.

Negative thoughtsChannel ALL your energy to create the reality that you desire. Stop filling up your minds with thoughts that are at cross-purpose with your destiny! You are a co-creator with God, you are living out a script written by your own hands. Yes, HE has given you that much power! God’s made you co-heirs and co-creators of his kingdom.

So step out in courage and follow your heart, intuition, unconscious mind and that still, quiet whisper within. Take ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU! To do otherwise is to selfishly rob the world of a precious gift. Play at 100%, and give life your all or don’t play at all. The world will all be better for having, knowing and experiencing ALL of you. Yes, you are that awesome!

You already have enough, be content and be grateful. Create the paradise that you desire NOW. And it is important to understand that you possess the innate, divine ability to create more, should you need more in life. There are unique gifts, talents and skills you possess that the world is waiting to pay for! It is simply an exchange of values from you and the universe and it is ALWAYS in synchronistic balance.

The caveat is that everything must be to God’s glory and to serve/love your neighbours. It must be ecological, a WIN-WIN-WIN balance; for self, for others and for the planet as a whole. WE are all connected! We are all ONE! So direct your thoughts to align with your vision and dreams. Dream BIG, it doesn’t cost you a single cent or kobo! 🙂

ThoughtsRemember, whatever you have in your physical universe is a reflection of the thoughts and (in)actions that you have taken in the past. It is your evidence procedure. It does not lie! So you get to choose and co-create your reality every single moment. You get to be ‘right’ whichever path you take. Life is truly a self-fulfilling prophesy! So ask yourself: ‘Am I congruent in my patterns of words-thoughts-actions?’

Have a thoughtful, reflective day!

Is Whole Woman Network’s Total Transformation and Leadership-Coaching Program for you? 

At Whole Woman Network, our coaching/training approach is based on the premise of self-leadership, self-responsibility and self-accountability. Until we can lead ourselves, it is futile to attempt to lead or influence others. It is a faith-based, result-oriented, holistic, inside-out approach that delves into the root causes of problems. The focus is simply to get you to a ‘solutions zone’. It is based on the premise that YOU are already whole and complete and simply need to be reminded. You have the answers within you and all we do is ask the right questions to trigger that which is inherent in you. Are you ready to un-lock your heArt of leadership?

For more information contact us:  

Phone:  +1905.709.5866      

Email: wholewomannetworkinc@gmail.com

Join the conversation on our Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

FB PIC High RezThe preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”  and “Today, I Will Not Bow”.  A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’,  [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?” 

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

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