Tag Archive | Maya Angelou

“Poetry, Violence and Women” by EAG Nigeria Scholar, Akanbi Halimah Abimbola.

Halimah Akanbi

Poetry, violence and women.

I often define “a poet” as one whose personal emotions, perceptions of happenings around them and conjectures of ideas and myriad emotions, are artistically woven into words, which are then graciously offered to the world. The world is at liberty to interpret it, how it deems fit.

Click Here to Read More

Advertisements

Embracing the gift of AUTHENTICITY!

authentic selfAuthenticity: According to the Webster dictionary, it means to be ‘real or genuine; not false or copied; it is true and accurate.

I particularly love this definition by my ten-year old son. He says it is ‘Being myself in everything I do and everywhere I go!” 🙂

Faking it: The Miriam Webster online dictionary explains this as “prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent); without regards to facts or truths; to engage in pretence.

My 13-year-old thinks this means ‘to live your life wearing a mask, doing something that’s not real and at the end, you still don’t get the full satisfaction.’ Kids are definitely smarter than we ever give them credit for!

A few days ago, I was listening to a webinar and the topic was: ‘Finding your purpose in your authentic self.’ The speaker had great content and had all 45 people on the call engaged for the first 30 minutes or so. The moment she started talking about building a successful career or business based on your purpose, she said the one line that shifted the whole webinar (and not in a positive way). The seemingly innocuous line: ‘Fake it until you make it!’

It was funny to see how people started typing in questions regarding this single phrase. Some of the very insightful questions asked were:

1. What does it mean to fake it till you make it? (I particularly like this question because it clearly stumped the speaker for some seconds!)

2. Why do we have to fake it when we’re really all about being real and truthful especially if we’re selling professional services and not commodities?

3. Why can’t we just simply be ourselves? Is it not deceitful to portray yourself as what you are not?

It was very interesting to hear her responses and to observe, energetically, how quickly the excellent rapport she’d built crumbled.

Now I’m pretty sure the speaker really meant differently because after the webinar,  I’d followed up with her and sent an email. And based on our interesting correspondence I understand now that to her it was just a seemingly harmless cliché or slogan that most coaches and business trainers had espoused and as she explained, she had used it in the context of perception and how people perceive you.

who are youThat is, the idea that you have to ‘claim’ or pretend to be successful in order to be seen as successful. In other words, you have to sound, look and act successful, to be perceived as a true success story, especially in today’s world of unimaginable competition and self-promotion.

My question to her was do we really have to fake it till we make it? And doesn’t the use of the phrase ‘faking it’ in the same breath as ‘authenticity’ seem out-of-place? Perhaps, one of the many reasons why entrepreneurs (in particular, professionals) struggle with translating their expertise into success, may be because they simply missed the important point that we now live in a value-based, empathy-driven economy. A lot of the old practices and ideas on how people do business have evolved.

I’ve always been raised with the notion that people can smell and sense crap and B.S from a mile away. (Thanks to being blessed with a grandmother and mother-in-law who both gave it to you straight and could not stand or abide fakes). In today’s world, any hint of in-congruent messaging will cost you a sale and/or a loyal client relationship. And it is also very critical in today’s inter-connected world of real life and cyber life.

Ask any high profile celebrity, CEO or business owner, who’s  lost droves of fans and/or customers because they put their foot in their mouth on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc. The principle of authenticity is particularly necessary in professional services where no tangible products are being offered. YOU become the primary product, and the services you offer are secondary. The marketplace today is filled with discerning, knowledgeable and savvy consumers.

Why not embrace who you are and share the different stages you’re on in your entrepreneurial journey. In a nutshell, I tend to believe that authenticity does not require you to ‘fake it’ in anyway.

TrustFar from it, rather, authenticity means that you allow yourself to be vulnerable and in that openness of spirit, you are empowered and can empower your clients. This level of truth allows you to connect meaningfully and at a deep level with people.

The basis of real rapport is TRUST. How then can trust exist if it is based on a pseudo lie? In the end, people tend to buy from people they both trust and like, period! Practicing the gift of authenticity at work and play will lead you to a life 0f seamless success.

Why then do we have to ‘fake it? Why don’t we just simply be and bask in the knowingness that all we are is really enough and should we need to be more, we can be more by taking action. The idea that life is a struggle to impress or pretend to others that we are more than we are, pre-supposes that we believe are less.

The danger with ‘faking it until you make it’, is that sometimes, people get caught up in the ‘story’ of the act and they become so intensely associated with it. They believe it and take it as real and consequently spend all their resources perfecting the ‘faking it’ act and in the process, many opportunities for true and sustainable success elude them.

Love leadEverything is energy. There is a lot of energy required to ‘fake it’. And what if instead of faking it till you make it, you simply channeled all your energy and focused on actually making it so you do not have to fake it?

Furthermore, you can choose to actually live it now as you work towards making it. This means that you are consciously doing symbolic gestures and taking action steps that reflect who you want to become and/or mimic the level of success you want to achieve.

In this way, the individual is in a dissociated state and the unconscious mind can then distinguish what is real and what is not. The universe has a sense of humour. It will only open up and give you both what you have room for and more of what you already have. Begin to pay more attention to what you are putting out there, (consciously or unconsciously). Your thoughts, words and actions are powerful.

In this new year (2014), you are enjoined to embrace the sacred gift of authenticity. Embrace, communicate and share what is true, real and accurately reflects your core.

“Until you FINALLY begin to See, Hear, Feel, Speak and Live your truth, you’ll be trapped in the painful bondage of merely manifesting lies and existing blindly. Your TRUTH is the primary reason why you exist! Find it and embrace it. It is already in you. All fear, anger, hatred, tiredness, shame, guilt…fade and melt away in the face of your truth. It fires you up. It gives you the strength to stand, the courage to act and boldness to speak. May 2014 be a year of uncommon boldness and courage as you finally BE who you’ve always wanted to become. Each day, do that one thing you most NEED to do and yet are most inclined to least WANT to do. And soon what you need and want will integrate into the same. Seamless success happens when you are fully congruent and exchange the inherent value of who you are into what you do!” #UNLockingYourHeArtofLeadership

Take the next steps. Interested in booking a 30-minutes complimentary Strategy Session for your life or business? Need more information on WWN’s individual/group/organizational training, coaching, speaking engagements, or leadership certification programs, contact us via email: info@wholewomannetwork.com or call +1.905.709.5866

Note: For Strategy Sessions, we’re now fully booked for the Months of January and February, the next available date for appointments is from March 10th, 2014.

——————————————————————————–

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women (and men), regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! She shares her daily reflective posts on: www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork. Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc

DAY 22: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

change life“Nobody’s role is to give your life meaning or make you happy. You give it to yourself based on your relationship with your creator. True joy comes from within. Joy is your God-given right, irrespective of your situation or relationship status. You condemn yourself to the left axis of hurts, doubts, fears, sadness…when you look outside for joy. We make choices about how we feel about ourselves (good or bad), and are drawn to people who make us feel that way. Most relationships begin to crumble once we begin to feel differently about ourselves and the other party still sees us the same way.” ~Connie Podesta~

WWN Reflection DAY 22: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Today’s focus is on RELATIONSHIP. As you enjoy your weekend, here are some nuggets to reflect upon. (Excerpt from my upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.’)

Follow your heart1. Renew your relationship everyday. It has its own distinct energy, separate from the individual energy of the people in it. Be open to learning new things about each other. What you THINK you know can get in the way of what you NEED to know. Let go of the attachment to being ‘right’ all the time in your relationship. It gets in the way of the joy and beauty unfolding ‘right now’ with your partner. Avoid keeping scores. It kills off the growth buds of your relationships.

You are in each other’s lives for a purpose; to love, to heal your pains and wounds, to create light and joy, share, to grow, to bear witness of God’s glory in you, to transform and to give and receive energy.

You come into the relationship already whole and complete. To think otherwise and shift the responsibility of making you feel ‘complete’ to your spouse, is setting them up on a pedestal from which they’ll surely fall off at some point. We enter into relationships with our strengths and also frailties, we are humans first and not ‘knights’ in shinning armours or ‘damsels’ in distress. Both parties bear the equal responsibilities of ‘saving’ each other. 1+1 =1! All parties must play at 100% or not at all.

Be responsible and have a deep sense of awareness of how you choose to exchange energy with each other. The moment we are disconnected from God, the eternal source, we are disconnected from ourselves and consequently, we begin to manifest that disconnect in our relationships.

“We tend to marry our unconscious mind, and then project unto it all of our unresolved stuff.” ~Carl Jung~

The moment the real purpose of the relationship is lost, it dies or disfigures itself into a source of pain, resentment and a hellish existence that drains both parties. Take the time to refocus the purpose of your relationships. Constantly build up a bank of positive emotions and beautiful memories. Your currencies are loving smiles, touches, kind words, mutual hobbies, fun dates, shared jokes, trips/unique experiences, delightful surprises, loyalty, commitment, intimacy, patience, presence, gifts, respect, generosity, forgiveness and most of all kindness.

Deposit daily and consistently into your ‘relationship banks’. Once in a while make huge lump deposits. When the storms arise, your deposits would yield interests of loving memories and these will be the back-up resources that will sustain you. A relationship without an active reserve goes bankrupt at the slightest wind or wisp of trouble.

Sometimes we may have to unlearn the old to learn the new. Keep your mind open, you just never know. People evolve and grow, decide to grow together. Most relationships die because one partner grows and the other stays the same or both grow in different directions. The more we have certain deep values in common, the more our relationship flourishes. We learn new things everyday, your prayer should be that you each become a better version of yourself tomorrow than you were today and that you share these persons you’re both becoming with each other.

Don’t stay stunted! Do better, choose to constantly GROW your relationship in the right direction.  “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” ~Frank Zappa ~

Priority2. A relationship is an equal  partnership. Both parties are responsible for its growth and success. It is a team. It is the most sacred of teams. When working in a team, don’t ever let your ego get in the way of the work to be done or the joys to be enjoyed. Always begin with the outcome in mind. Focus on WHAT you want to achieve and not WHO does what. Make each other your biggest priority. In the words of Maya Angelo: “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

When someone is your priority you expend most of your resources(time, money, energy), on them. It is not just what you say, it is how you say it. It is not just what you do, it is the intention and attitude with which you do it.

So many wonderful and once loving relationships failed because people are more concerned with BEING right than DOING right. Get rid of your attachment to being right. Focus on the type of relationships you desire to create: Loving, healthy and happy! Know when to LET IT GO or SWALLOW; swallow your pride, swallow the back-biting, swallow keeping score of your mutual weaknesses, swallow your anger. Relationships take work and it is important that you focus on getting the work done each day. And make sure you have fun in the process. If not, what’s the point?

Rainbow3.  The quality of your relationships should be based on the love you give, the value you add, the gifts and talents you share, your ability to transform each other’s lives and the positive changes you ignite. Each party acts as a catalyst to the other. You are reflections of the other. Your closest and most intimate relationships offer you a tremendous opportunity to grow and transform. “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~Carl G. Jung~

You are first and foremost, in a relationship with yourself. You go into a relationship with your own ‘bag’ of belief system, values, upbringing etc . Each person is responsible for their own bag of ‘stuff’. Be courageous, own and confront your own stuff, so that you free up your heart to fully love the one you’re with. Your stuff is shaped by your past, culture, family, values, environment, beliefs, education, etc.

Everyone has the same capacity for love. It just manifests differently. Do not play the compare and contrast game. The greatest gift of every relationship is unconditional love. Be grateful for what and who you have and not anxious for what you do NOT have. Be thankful and happy for what others have. Their path is different from yours. Love and focus on the one you’re with. Focus on giving and not on getting. The beauty with love is that we are transformed when we give and receive it completely and unreservedly.

Accept and forgive each other, unconditionally. Know the difference between compromising based on love and sacrificing based on fear. Grow in your relationship. Grow with your relationship. God’s grace is sufficient for us all, however it is a choice whether we tap into that grace or not.

Relationship

4. One of the dangers of thinking the grass is greener on the other side is that you may get to the other side and find out you’re allergic to that type of grass and you break out in terrible reactions. Be content with who/what/where you are. You have the power to co-create your relationships.

Your life is not an accident. The source of eternal joy dwells within you because you were created in God’s image. There’s a majesty within you. Why then do you seek completion from external possessions, titles, judgements? Avoid comparing and contrasting with others. Focus on building your home.

Do not surrender the power you have to valueless and meaningless things. Do not be a slave to the ego. The more congruent and content you are with who you are, the more empowered and loving your relationship will become.

5. Most relationships would flourish if we treated loved ones with the same kindness, courtesy and respect that we accord bosses, strangers and colleagues. Familiarity should not be an excuse for veiled contempt rather it should breed consideration and empathy.

Stop taking people for granted. Even loved ones deserve your sincere ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I’m sorry’….Simply saying ‘I love you’ is not enough, you also have to mean it, think it and act it out. This is because LOVE is a very fragile seed, and it needs the right atmosphere in order for the fruits to flourish. If not, it gradually wilts away and dies!

bricks6. If the FEAR of losing your relationship is what is holding you back from pursuing your passions, dreams and purpose, you’ll have a LONG wait because, like a shadow, the fear never goes away.

Arise into the light and tame the cobra of fear. ACT in spite of your fears. Fight for the relationship and create the reality you want. If you are afraid of being yourself in a relationship because of a need to ‘preserve and keep’ that relationship, chances are, the relationship is already broken and you’re simply wasting your life away, chasing and gathering the scattered, broken pieces while pretending to be someone else. That’s just exhausting!

If you find yourself more afraid of rocking the boat and more focused on preserving ‘peace’, know that you are no longer being yourself in that relationship, and that relationship boat’s probably already capsized! Allow relationships to evolve naturally.

Be authentic, be YOU. It is the pretence that destroys. You are already dead the moment you try to become something or someone you are not. A ghost cannot exist in a relationship. Be alive, choose to trust that you are enough. It is better to let go of a phantom relationship, than to lose your essence, soul and spirit. God made you for a purpose and you cannot fulfil it by being someone else!

7. Focus on exactly what you want in your relationship and not on the ‘problems’ ; what you do not want! What if your problem is not YOUR problem? What if your problem is simply just A problem? Quit taking things so personal, begin to let PROBLEMS/PAINS go when they’ve served their purpose in your relationship. Have clarity on and communicate your values, boundaries and deal breakers.

A problem or pain exists in your relationship to draw your attention to something that needs to be resolved, a skill that needs to be learnt, a reason to pause and reflect on your choices…and a chance to grow and transform. It is not in the ‘highs’ of life that your relationship is strengthened. Rather it’s in the ‘lows’; those periods when situations challenge us, when we are pushed beyond our limits, when loved ones and people we trust hurt/disappoint/betray us.

all we needAnd yet, these are your finest moments to BE who you really are! Begin to see ‘PROBLEMS or PAIN POINTS’ as gifts to your relationships! God will NEVER give you more than you can bear. You are GREATER than any challenge, obstacle or pain. BE and B.E.A.M: Be Everything And More!

Remember this: You  are blessed beyond your wildest imaginations. You are worthy of a loving, trusting, passionate relationship. You are deserving. You were created to love and be loved, unconditionally. In love were you created, with love were you moulded, through love were you redeemed. God is love and you are made in his own image and likeness. You are love. Do not ever sell yourself short! May love always find you willing, open and ready. Have a love-filled life!

Some great relationship books and resources:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

The Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Join the conversation on our Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

FB PIC High RezThe preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”  and “Today, I Will Not Bow”.  A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’,  [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?” 

DAY 19: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Tragedy and PurposeThis post is inspired by Carol W.C, who asked a simple, yet profound question on our Facebook page: ‘How do I discover my purpose?

Questions of the Day: How do I discover my purpose? What if I’m not sure of what my talents or abilities are? What if I’m not passionate about anything? What if I’m talented and skilled at many different things, how do I narrow my focus? Where are you spending your resources? Where and what are your thoughts on most of the time? What makes life worth living?

WWN Reflection DAY 19: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Here are 10 points to think about:

1. Your purpose is tied to your PASSIONS and PAINS. Most often we focus on only the passion and miss out the power hidden in our pain. Tragedy can be transformed to purpose and power.

2. PASSIONS: What you’re passionate about, who and what are the people, things, projects, topics you absolutely love and never get tired of, what do you truly, deeply enjoy? What makes your heart sing, your spirit soar, what energizes you and gives you bursts of creativity?
PAIN: What keeps you up at night, what stirs your spirit, what moves you to tears, what breaks your heart open, what kills your soul?

Two Days3. To discover your purpose, you may also want to start reflecting on your whole life journey so far. What Significant Emotional Events (SEEs), happened in your life at different critical stages: From birth to 8 years, From 8 to 14 years, from 14 to 21 years, from 21 to 28 years,  28 to 35 years, 35 to 42 years, 42 to 55 years, 55 to 65 years etc. Search for the key learnings, and events that bring up strong feelings of anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, regret, shame AND feelings of indescribable joy, worthiness, love, and fulfilment. These SEEs reflect a pattern, a theme, a direction to your purpose. If there are things that still need resolution, perhaps those are areas to start from.

4.Begin to really reflect on those experiences from # 3. above and going forward, look for patterns in what you did and experienced in life in the past and relate them to your present behaviour, strategies and approach to life. Pay attention to the common themes and triggers.

5. How can you best serve and add value to yourself, family, colleagues, community, humanity? What are you really good at? What unique talents and abilities do you have? Do an audit of all your skill set and then reflect on your talents, no matter how small (all the things you do exceptionally well, easily and effortlessly). “The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious, the desire to reach HEARTS is wise.” ~Maya Angelou~

6. Read books about living a life of purpose, a good recommendation is  Rick Warren’s PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE.

7. Begin to develop yourself, skills, and surround yourself with people who are living the life you aspire to. What do you dream of becoming if you had all the money, energy and time in the world? Seek people already living that truth and learn from them. Perhaps, their light will ignite your own fire!

8. Everything you do now is tied to your purpose, live everyday as if it is the most significant day in your life. Add extra effort to everything you do. Be purposeful in your use of time, money, energy, words, thoughts. Your bigger purpose is tied to your smaller goals and dreams. Show up and be present in your life, with your family, friends and community. Play at 100% and your purpose slowly reveal itself with each step you take. Most people erroneously think that their purpose in life will be revealed as an epiphany, with heavenly lights and signs/wonders. I think that perhaps, our purpose is not a big bang that suddenly hits us, rather it is continuous journey that reveals itself to those who take it one step, each day at a time. “Take a single step and the path will reveal itself.” ~James MacNeil~

9. Reverse engineer your life. That is, imagine that you are now say 100 years old, at the end of your life, what are the important things you want to be remembered for by your family, friends, community and society? If you had no limitations in terms of time, money, energy, what life would you rather be living? Your passion may be tied to your answer. Your task is now to figure out a way to actually start living it NOW!

10. At the heart of discovering our purpose is to understand that we live in a physical reality and we are here to share, create, heal, connect and serve one another. There must be an exchange of value that takes place and a compensation in exchange for the value that is created. Do the little things with 100% commitment, passion and heart. Simply mind your business and live life fully and completely. Give it everything you’ve got. Your purpose WILL show up!

Be social! Share this post with your network.

Join the conversation on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

————————————————————————————————————-

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership.” She is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc.

DAY 18: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

comfort 2Questions of the Day: Do you really know yourself? Do you live in constant awareness of how you’re changing and growing? Do you understand your strengths and use them in service of self and others? Do you have clarity on your weaknesses? Are you humble enough to surround yourself with people who complement your weaknesses and harness your  skills and talents?

Who are you teaching and who are you learning from? Life is a constant exchange of value, how are you exchanging energy and resources with others? Do you realize that in order to give and receive, you must be constantly growing? Are you choosing to be stagnant or are you boldly creating your own flow?

WWN Reflection DAY 18: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Today’s reflective focus is on PERSONAL GROWTH. The choice to learn and grow each day is a path that leads to wholeness and joy. You are able to impact, influence, change and inspire yourself and others around you, when you make yourself open to life-long learning, growing and exploring.

oprahImagine for a moment that a curious child who is 10 years, who has always been creative, open and had always sought knowledge, suddenly wakes up one day and declares: ‘I am smart and wise enough!’

And then shuts himself off from the world, refuses to learn new things, to grow, to ask question and chooses to only live the rest of his life based on the knowledge he’s acquired in life up until that age 10. Think of how limited, colourless and stunted that child’s life will become.

And yet this is exactly how some of us approach life. This is exactly how colourless, stunted and limited our lives become when we shut off our learning buds and creative cells and refuse to be open to new ideas, perspectives, ways of doing business, and new approaches to living.

Personal growth and development is a journey to expand our awareness and live out the knowledge we have gained. It is the ability to transit from intellectual ‘knowing’ to experiential living. You cannot continue to be the person you are now if you want to become the you of your dreams.

InspirationYou alone are responsible for your growth. You alone must take control of your growth and progress. You must be accountable to yourself in the use of your God-given unique talents, abilities, skills and resources. You get to choose what your journey would be and how it all plays out. Inspire and motivate yourself to achieve your own growth. It is your life after all!

The quality of your relationships will often reflect your journey and your growth. Who and what you surround yourself with matter a lot. Begin to show a deeper level of awareness in your life, business and community. Have clarity on your personal/career/business/life goals. Know why certain people are in your life, what role(s) certain events and situations play in your overall purpose. Know why you go where you go, know what you say and understand why you say it. Meaningless conversations, events or situations that offer you nothing but negativity are a waste of your resources.

Reflect on the different areas of the sphere of life and take action in all of them. (Focus more attention on the area that gives you the most pain). Feed each area and grow in each area. The moment we are out of balance in one area, it begins to affect all the other areas negatively.  So pay more attention to people, places, situations and things that drain or deplete you. And know what replenishes, re-charges and rejuvenates you. Know your source and your re-source. Know when to re-fuel and when to discharge. Know who you are and whose you are!

Have a dedicated budget and allocate resources to your growth. Water the gardens of your mind. Sow seeds of creativity, knowledge and be open to new ideas and perspectives. We grow through various means: The books we read, the movies/tv shows/plays we watch, the music we listen to, the games we play, the people we meet, the events we attend, the places we travel to, the conversations we have and how we work and worship. We grow in noisy, busy ‘crowds’ and we also grow alone, in our silence. Everything depends on how you choose to exchange energy both with yourself and with the universe.

One of the true tests of growth is the ability to revisit a past painful/challenging event and see new perspectives, interpretations and outcomes. Growth gives us options and choices. It allows us to acquire wisdom and thus develop an eagle eye on events and situations. Growth fosters behavioural flexibility. Real growth is maturity, a deepening of our understanding of our connectedness and relationships. It leads to more empathy, acceptance, forgiveness and expansion of our model of the world.

Growth is a beautiful dynamic process, it is not static. It may not always be easy but it is always fulfilling. Grow in the direction of your light and purpose. Growth has different seasons Pay attention to your seasons: farming, fasting, sacrificing, healing, tilling, sowing, watering, weeding, harvesting, gathering, feasting, sharing and glorifying. You are unique so also are your seasons. Avoid the compare and contrast game. It is at the root of all discontent, greed, and unhappiness. Growth will gift you with the spirit of contentment and gratitude.

“CONTENTMENT is what transforms your ‘hut’ into a beautiful mansion. A house is a house, it is your ENERGY that transforms it into a HOME. Build homes based on foundation of love, forgiveness, warmth, acceptance, peace and joy! The outside world can be hellish sometimes, so it is important to create your own safe haven of glory. You carry your HEAVEN with you where ever you go. Contentment means that you know and live your truth.

You are enough. You have enough. And you have the unique talent and ability to create more whenever you really need and want it. All you have to do is DECIDE and then take ACTION congruent with your decision. Growth leads to empowerment. Empowered individuals create empowered homes, families and workplaces, these in turn create empowered communities and societies. We can build the society of our dreams and it all starts with YOU!” ~Excerpt from the upcoming book: ‘UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership’~

Take ACTION and choose to grow!  Take risks, step out of your ‘grey zone’, there’s nothing comfortable about it! Learn something new each day. Try something different. Take a little step each day. Do better and differently tomorrow that you did today. Otherwise, of what use is tomorrow? Embrace growth and become open to the amazing opportunities and interesting people all around you. Remember to celebrate your journey!

Be social! Share this post with your network.

Join the conversation on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

FB PIC High RezThe preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership”  and “Today, I Will Not Bow”.  A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’,  [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?” 

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Related articles

DAY 12: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Enjoy the little thingsQuestions of the day: Are you going through the motions in life? Is life a series of dreary, weary, bleak chores and activities? Has the fun been sucked out of your life? Do you spend more time in the ‘complain-blame-pain’ zone and little or no time in the joyous/thankful/loving zone?

Do you see/hear/feel the world around you closing in? Do you find yourself often very negative about people, events and things around you? Are you constantly taking things personal? Do you feel stuck, stressed out and burnt out? You may just be lacking some good old-fashioned F.U.N!

Perhaps, it is time to STOP! Take a pause from the game of life, reflect and reestablish a new attitude and approach to life and begin to live more meaningfully, passionately and purposefully. Of what use is life if you are not living it fully?  You are not here to get by, you were created to soar! In the words of Maya Angelou: ‘Your purpose in life is not to merely survive, rather it is to thrive! 

At the core of our transformational Training, Leadership and Coaching programs at Whole Woman Network, are principles of Self-Love, Self-Accountability and Self-Leadership. You have the unique gift and ability to co-create your life and design your destiny. Own it!Rule

DAY 12: WWN Reflection-November 12, 2013

Today’s focus is on FUN! How to bring back love, life and laughter into your life. The keys to having fun in life are Passion, Presence and Purpose.

You have to take time to do what you love. Our passions re-charge us. They help us relax, refresh, rejuvenate our senses and bring clarity to what’s really important in our lives. You must be present and have a deep sense of awareness to really experience the fullness of life. Always take a moment to bask in the glory of being alive. Celebrate the fact that you’re here, still standing!Getting Old

Listen more, feel all your feelings, scream out loud, pause to take deep breaths, listen to music, dance, read a good book, watch a movie, take a walk, have a makeover, do some gardening, go racing, biking, go shopping, engage in fun sporting activities, hang out with friends, sing out loud, spend time with family, meditate or go for a personal/group retreat, compile a bucket list and take action on it, take a trip, enjoy the beauty of silence, explore your world, do something or do nothing at all and simply take a fun rest!

Remember, no matter how much you love a good job, it can never love you back! And, no matter how well you run the rat race, even if you win it, you are still a rat. Sometimes we are so busy chasing a living that we forget to actually live. So have fun and do the things you love because you only get one chance to live the life you want. Reach out and take it!

Be yourself and enjoy being yourself. Fun is the birthplace of creativity, originality and success. It allows you to persevere even when the path seems blocked. “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ~Dale Carnegie~

Are you Struggling to discover what you really love doing? Not sure of what your purpose is? Not certain about what is fun anymore? Pay attention to the PATTERNS and PASSIONS and PAINS in your LIFE. What makes you alive, what gives you incredible joy, what makes time disappear, what would you do with love and gratitude even if you were need paid for it? Become more present, for as you allow your life to unfold naturally, so also does your passion and purpose manifest.

Time fliesWe are here to Heal, Create, Share and above all, to LOVE and ENJOY our experiences! Your passion and purpose are woven into your every hour, so become present always, ‘cos every single moment counts. Become more aware of what gives you joy and also what causes you pain.

As you embrace the courage to heal your pain, you naturally begin to create new and amazing experiences ad passions, and then you share this awakened real YOU with your world, in a spirit of unconditional love. Your passion is hidden in your pain and they both combine to mask your purpose.

Enjoy the wonder of life as you focus on that which makes your spirit sing, your heart bleed and your soul stir…it is a fire that can never burn out, it is a hunger that can never be quenched, it is a story that must be told. Your purpose is eternal, it lives on beyond you. You are a sacred vessel of magnificence! Live passionately, powerfully and purposefully. Have fun doing it!

Join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/wholewomannetwork

————————————————————————————————————-

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Strategic Interventionist, Wealth Management Consultant & Leadership-Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership Training, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc.

Decades of Laughter, Decades of Tears…

Day without Laughter Whole Woman Network

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and to love somebody and have the courage to accept their love in return.” ~Maya Angelou~

Decades of Laughter, Decades of Tears…An original poemLaughter and Wrinkles Whole Woman Network

Decades of silence, decades of tears

Decades of merely existing, shrouded in fears

Decades without music, decades without dance

Decades of passing through life in a deep, dark trance

Decades of hiding, of lying and slowly dying

Decades of crouching in shadows instead of freely flying

Decades of pain, dark moments, we thought lost, never to be regained

All rolled into now, this glorious moment, with everything reclaimed.

laughter is an instant vacation Whole Woman Network

Decades of new beginnings, decades of living

Decades of rising into a new-found awakening

Decades of laughter, mingled with healing tears, caressing soft lashes

Decades of joy, of gaining mastery of life’s tranquility and her clashes

Decades of opening up, welcoming change and embracing

All that we are, were and will be, as phenomenally amazing

Decades, when finally, our inner light

Defeats the darkness and shines so bright

Illuminating our path, as we become one with our essence

As we decide to embrace our new-found magnificence!

Today, as you behold these words and read these lines, slow or fast

Celebrate your new decade unfold, a life of love, laughter and joy, here at last

Simply BE and BEAM: Be Everything And More!

© ‘Kego Onyido