Archive | October 2012

Personal Growth and Leadership Development with Kim Redman (PhD).

“Your ‘self-talk’ gradually becomes a permanent part of your life’s ‘Hard Drive’. Your self-talk is very important because it becomes your pre-determined way of looking at life (your paradigm). Negative self-talks are like dangerous viruses in your life, and a simple ‘delete’ key will not be adequate to fix the malfunction. You may have to erase, reformat or completely change your Hard-Drive.”

~Whole Woman Network~ (Excerpt from WWN’s Life Transformation Program: ’90 Days to a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier You’)

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A few weeks ago, I participated in a workshop hosted by Gerry Roberts, International bestselling author of The Millionaire Mindset, and facilitated by Coach extraordinaire Kim Redman (PhD), the only Board Certified Master NLP Trainer in Canada. Kim

I must admit that the only reasons I attended (reluctantly too), were because: i. I was inundated with so many emails and ii. I was in between clients and needed a time filler!

Three hours later, after listening to both Gerry and Kim, I was so glad I attended.  I am really grateful to have been a part of that experience. A lot of the thoughts shared were not new ideas  but they presented them with such fresh insights and most importantly, they provided a compelling call to action.

Here’s my condensed interpretation of some interesting nuggets shared by Mr Roberts and Ms Redman:

1. Most people are lacking in many areas of their lives because they simply do NOT know what they are seeking;

2. Success often eludes us because we focus on the fruits and not the roots. For instance, true wealth begins only when we realize that money is not tangible rather it is an energy, it is a concept. So, we do not want money rather what money can do for us;

3. Time is a unique commodity: you cannot save it, trade it or buy it. It can only be leveraged and spent, so spend wisely;

4. In today’s empathy-driven economy, people do not care about what you do. They are more interested in why you do it. In the words of John C. Maxwell: ‘People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care’. Learn to connect passionately/meaningfully with people in order to have sustainable personal and professional relationships. Connect from the heart first, always;

5. No amount of knowledge is enough to get you fully confident now. To have mastery and expertise, you have to do new things often enough. (Formula for Confidence=Consistency over Time). This is the time for experiential learning (you do not just read about it but you go through it);

6. Sometimes you just have to scream because your brain  needs the oxygen. Learn to unwind and revive your body, mind, soul and spirit;

7. Stop thinking that the big deal is listening to great speakers or attending events. The big deal is taking action, it is actually going out there and doing something;

8. You may need to radically change your life to get where you want to go;

9. Embrace fear because it never goes away. Let your mission be to always act in spite of the cobra of fear;

10. Leadership is not so much about being as it is about doing. Leadership is an evolving set of skill-set. It is your responsibility to find out what you need and to go out and get them. Lead yourself first because you are the Light-House;

11. Sitting on the fence of life will never take you anywhere. Do you want to be Happy, Healthy, Wealthy? Then decide, choose and design the life you want. Unless you decide, you will never believe because every belief you have, you had to decide to belief first;

12. There is an intersection between Quantum Physics and Faith: ‘All possibilities exist in the eternal.’-Mark 9:23

13. Take action towards the life of your dreams. Small steps everyday generate momentum. Do something 3 times/day it becomes a pattern or routine; Repeat it daily for one month and it becomes a habit; Do it 1000 times and it becomes indelible (It sets in a program in your subconscious and you do it without thinking);

14. In the dimension of time, 3 am is the hour of completion of the unconscious mind. If you are consistently up at 3 am, then there may be an unresolved conflict;

15. When people share ideas that are bigger than your mind can comprehend, do you fight them, ridicule them or ignore them? Be wary of someone who would summarily dismiss an idea for no reason;

16. Learn to monetize your experiences and your pains. Our greatest learning is often not gained from successes but from failures;

17. Excellence is a  habit. It is not genetic. It is what you repeat everyday until it becomes second nature. How you do one thing is how you do all things;

18. Other people’s opinion of you should not be your business. Never mind what others are telling you, what is most important is what you are telling yourself. Since you are already telling yourself stories, you may as well tell good stories;

19. Your ‘self-talk’ is very important because it becomes your pre-determined way of looking at life (your paradigm);

20. Your conscious mind is the ‘goal-setter’ while you unconscious mind is the ‘go-getter’. Your unconscious mind is the equivalent of a 5-7 year old. It is a realm where everything is possible.

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***Do you live in the GTA? Are you in any of the following fields: Education, Retail, Medicine and Healing, Sales, Marketing, Training, Leadership, Communication..? Are you a coach, professional, small business owner or public speaker? Are you interested in personal growth and leadership development? Do you want to learn more about applying cutting edge science towards empowering yourself, family, staff and clients?

Some recommended Trainings in the GTA:

‘Designing your Destiny’, a training weekend workshop facilitated by Kim Redman (PhD) of Creatrix Transformational Solutions Inc. Visit this website for more details.

‘Fast Forward Your Future’, a Leadership and Empowerment Experiential training event, facilitated by the team at Human Potential International, HPI. Visit this website to register for the next event.

 

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Remember, you are not ordinary, you are divinely unique.

You are WOW (Wonderful One-of-a-kind Woman)!

w(H)olistically Yours,

 Whole Woman Network

BLOGGER BIO: The preceding blog entry is from Juliet Ume, MBA –Wealth Management Consultant & Lifestyle Coach at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is an avid Life Connoisseur and a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Investment & Financial Literacy for women. Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc

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What Manner of Husband Are You? By Bimbo Odukoya (RIP)

I came across an interesting article by the always inspiring Pastor Bimbo Odukoya (RIP), titled: “What Manner of Husband Are You?” Please read and share your honest thoughts here or on our Facebook page. (Ladies, you can also participate by answering the same question, that is, “What manner of a husband do you have?”) Here’s wishing every woman “Kingdom Husbands.”

What Manner of Husband Are You? By Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

Bimbo Odukoya

Bimbo Odukoya (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How can your wife describe you? Below are a few categories of husband:

(1). Autocratic Husband- He is a self-knowledge, self-involved, unbending, unyielding husband. Nobody can correct him, nobody can counsel him. To him, he knows everything. He is very arrogant and stubborn. He has no mentor. He does not fear, honour or respect anybody. He doesn’t want anybody to advise him and he can not be influenced by anybody especially his wife, who hardly knows his plan or what he may do next. He is a difficult man to live with.

(2). Corrosive Husband- He is abusive; hot tempered and a wife beater. He is not in charge of his temper. He is a no-joke, no-play, no-laughter and no-nonsense man. He shouts and barks at home. The house is a military camp; his room is a Defence headquarters, while he is the garrison commander, lion of the family and commander in chief of family forces.

(3). Solo Husband- He stays in separate room away from his wife. He is a “single” married man. He prefers sharing his secret with friends; the only time he talks to his wife is when he needs food and sex.

He is self-centered; his common words are “I”, “me”, “mine” and “myself”. He is full of self-glorification, self-justification and stinginess.

(4). Semi-Husbands- They are not real husbands, they are men under their trouser but lesser than that in their duties at home. They are real men in bed and on the dining table; but when it gets to paying school fees they are nothing. It is their wives who pay the house rent, electricity bills, buy food and provide generally for the family. It is not that he is not working; it’s just that he is a useless man that will not provide for his own family. While some are too lazy to work, others that have money spend their money outside to the detriment of peace in their homes. A semi-husband is a disgrace, Proverbs 24:27, I Tim 5:8.

(6). Supermarket Husbands- These are  husbands that are unfaithful to their wives. They are everybody’s husband. They spend lavishly on their girl friends, woman friends, prostitutes and concubines outside; while giving little or nothing to their household.

To men like this, anything in skirt is good for a bed-mate. They pay huge amount of money on hotel bills. They are shameless to the extent that they visit brothels for prostitute or park their cars in the bush path to perform their ungodly act with immoral ladies. Some even go to the extent of impregnating their house-maids and sleeping with their wives’ younger sisters, Proverbs 7:1-27

(7). Executive Husbands- These are men that live their lives in an executive way. They do not allow their wives to have any close relationship with them. They operate their rooms as if it is the general manager’s office; no love, no romance and no intimacy.

If their wives want to enter their rooms, they have to knock and obtain permission before coming in. They do issue orders to their family members as if to the workers under them and inform their families about their plans as if addressing a press conference; where no journalist is allowed to ask any question.

Their wives cannot easily talk to them, in fact; they have to send their children to them before they can get anything from them.

One thing that is common to most of them is that most of them are business executives hence, they use their office experience to the maximum at home expecting everybody at home to follow suit. They have little or no respect for their wives, if their business is not going on fine, then the whole family is in trouble. Many of them always want their wives to be full-time house wives so that they can have full control over them.

(8). Traditional Husbands- They see their wives as properties. They believe women are third class citizens, useful only in the kitchen and bedroom. To them, a woman is just a cook, a tool of pleasure (sex) and baby making machine.

They give no attention to their wives who they see as somebody that is a little bit above their house-maid. They believe that their younger ones living with them are to be served by their wives, while they are expected not to do anything at home.

Most of them are still using the style of their grand-fathers for their marriages. They believe a woman must not enjoy sex; love must not be shown to them, they must be beaten if they misbehave, if she fails to give birth to a baby boy then she is a failure. If they give birth to children who behave poorly they belong to the wife, the one that behave excellently belong to the father.

(9). Baby Husbands- They are not under-aged men physically, but they are infant mentally. They know how to build a house but not how to make a home.

If you want to know baby husbands look for the following:

• He keeps malice with his wife

• He rejects food because he is angry

• He beats his wife

• He reports his wife to friends and family members

• He keeps a separate room from his wife.

• He embarrasses his wife publicly

• He calls his wife goat, animal, fool, etc.

• He loves his mother more than his wife

• May refuse to give house-keeping allowance because of a little misunderstanding

• Can never be influenced by his wife

• He is a contentious husband, he nags.

• Will never pray with his wife

• Always find it difficult to say “I am sorry”.

• Will never help his wife with the baby.

• He threatens his wives with polygamy or divorce

• He criticizes, condemns and compares his wife with other women

• He does not love his wife, if he does; he will never say it, or demonstrate it.

• He leaves the house without anybody knowing where he has gone to.

• He gives no room for romance and intimacy. All he wants is sex.

• Gives no room for foreplay before sex. He is just like a carpenter who has no emotion for the nail.

• He retaliates instead of rewarding

• Never does anything to improve his marriage. He will never read marriage books, attend seminar or go for counseling.

(10). Kingdom Husbands– They are extra-ordinary husbands; they are what God want them to be as husband. They know that their God is to be feared and worshipped, their wives are to be loved and their children are to be catered for. They are “real men”, men indeed; they are the SUNSHINE in the life of their wives and children.

– They are man of integrity: – They mean what they say; and say what they mean

– They do pray with and for their wives.

– They are faithful, loving and caring.

– They cherish and nourish their wives.

– They listen to the suggestion of their wives.

– They are good communicator.

– Apologize easily, forgive quickly.

– They lead their homes with wisdom

– They never retaliate, they rather reconcile.

– They do speak the truth in love.

– They provide for their family (1 Tim. 5:8)

– They stay in the same room with their wives.

– They “leave” their parent and leave to their wives.

– Their wives know how much they are earning.

– They are actively involved in child bearing, rearing, discipline and parenting.

– They have ultimate respect for their wives.

– They do support their wives in the kitchen.

– They are close to their wives, full of honour and they do play with their wives.

– They are skillful in the bedroom; meeting their wives bedroom need.

Kingdom husbands are not common but God can make you one of them, turning your home to a place to be.

Kingdom Husbands – Traits of an Uncommon Hubby

Kingdom husbands are common men with uncommon sense. Are you a great husband? Do you want to be one? Do you want to be a husband your wife will adore, honor and hero-worship? Then all you just need to do is to develop the following traits of uncommon husbands:

God Fearing: The first trait of a great husband is the fear of the Lord. He fears the Lord enough to obey His words. He fears the God enough to care and provide for his wife. No husband can be a wonderful husband expects he is God fearing man.

2. Godly Character: A great husband is of a man with godly character. He is meek, gentle, caring, loving, forgiving, supportive, wise and cautious. He is not stingy but honest. He does not attend night clubs, smoke or practice adultery.

3. Love: He loves his wife with all his heart and is not ashamed to let anybody know. He expresses love to his wife at any given opportunity.

4. Respects and Honors: When you see a man that embarrasses his wife in the public, he is a total failure as a man of valor. A great husband respects and honors his wife and gives all glory to God.

5. Good Communication: A woman loves it when her husband is talking and listening passionately to her. A good husband is open to his wife. He speaks the truth is love and is always positive in his reactions to his wife.

6. Great Leader: He is never a boss but is a tender lover. He knows how to make people follow him without forcing them. He has vision, which he shares with his family. He influences the family and offers them good examples.

7. Diligent: A great husband is a worker; he is not lazy. He puts his hands to work and makes bread available to his family.

8. Romantic: He satisfies his Wife’s Bedroom Desires. A great husband is romantic. He knows how to make his wife enjoy him. He is tender, patient and careful with the wife in the bedroom. He knows that foreplay is a must if a woman must enjoy sex. Hence, he never rushes his wife but brings her up before any sexual act.

9. He gives His Wife Peace: The wife of a great husband is always sad to see him travel because he is a man of peace with no space for fighting, bitter arguments, abuse, curse, shouting, malice, bitterness, resentment, bickering and hatred. A great husband has no time for all these. He is a source of joy to his darling wife.

10. He is Committed to Marriage: He never threatens his wife with beating, separation or divorce but is ready to give his marriage anything it takes to make it work. His wife is number one in his life after God. His wife is his thinking partner, friend, prayer partner, bed mate, and confidant!
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This is not meant to abuse anybody, but for you to check yourself and try to be a better husband and father, may God help you in Jesus name, Amen.

~Pastor Bimbo Odukoya~

Ten ‘work-life’ principles I learnt as an employee.

Long before I caught the exciting bug of Entrepreneurship, I was an employee. One of the very first jobs I held was a Management Trainee position at Honeywell Group. As a fresh engineering graduate straight out of University, I was excited about the challenges ahead and the interesting projects I would be involved in.  And of course, the fantastic experiences and skills that I would gain in the process.

Fast forward to almost thirteen years later (2012), and I realize that the most important things I remember from my first job are not projects or bonuses or awards, rather, the coaching I received from my professional mentor at the time-the wonderful catalyst of trans-formative change: Mr Alex Taiwo, Human Capital Advisor.                                                                                                            
These are the ten principles he espoused:

1. Be clear on what your values and principles are. Form habits in consonance with your core. Clarity makes for better choices in seemingly challenging situations and gives you a sense of direction;

2. An authentic  and curious spirit that encompasses self-leadership, respect for others, collaboration, accountability, responsibility and drive towards a common goal as key to productivity, creativity and long-term profitability;

3. Never join a clique or group. BE a team player. You owe it to yourself to be a loyal and goal driven employee and not a high school student. Create benign structures that support productivity and cohesion within teams and leave the drama at the entrance gate;

4. Avoid discussions on race, politics, sexual orientation, wages, bonuses and commissions with colleagues. If you need any clarification on these matters, ask the appropriate HR personnel;

5. Sincerity and Humility are never old fashioned; they will serve you well both at work and in life. Do not play the compare and contrast game; No individual is better than the team, notwithstanding his/her vast skill-set or experience. Everyone has an important role to play, respect all;

6. Understand the culture and values of the companies you work for. Know also that culture evolves but the underlying values may remain the same;

7. Do not gossip about others. If you must gossip, always play the ‘reverse gossip game’: saying as many wonderful things as you can behind someone’s back! Learn to shake things off, never take things personal;

8. Priorities and synergies change, new power blocks are constantly emerging. Be good and fair to everyone, from Founder or CEO to Gate-man or Janitor. Put your best foot forward, always;

9. Develop your problem-solving skills. Be the ‘go to’ person for solutions and become a value provider. Talk well but  learn to listen better. Be the one who gets the job done and not the one who gets all the praise. Do not make yourself a conflict generator or ‘crap magnet’;

10. Be a mentor to others because in coaching others, we learn new perspectives and allow ourselves to be guided too (reverse-mentoring)!

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The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Wealth Management Consultant & Lifestyle Coach at Whole Woman Network. This is a post from the YRSBiz Blogging Circle. The York Region Small Business Club helps small businesses in York Region connect online and in York Region. Their goal is to provide free or low-cost opportunities for local businesses to connect and engage with each other and ultimately to help small businesses succeed.
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